The “Good News” (for you) is that 99% of dudes have ZERO game. And I really mean zero.
Illustration (random comment on a random hot chick’s nudie pic):
There is just so much wrong with this dude’s approach that I hardly know where to begin.
First the opener. Puke! He immediately put himself in the position of being her doormat. I mean, this is (supposedly) a grown man in his 40’s, who markets himself as a bull, or something. And a dominant. He just said he would do anything for her.
“Just tell me what you want, my Queen, and I will do it.”
Does that really sound dominant to you?? Or does it sound desperate and pathetic?
Now she responds; because she knows that if she gives him the come-on, then, just like it ALWAYS goes, he is going to reply INSTANTLY, so grateful for being given a little crumb from her table. Which is to her advantage – her pic will appear again at the top of his homepage feed, which means more visibility for her – as well as more validation.
She’s just working her angle. She already doesn’t give a damn about this dude because he’s already played all his cards. It’s all downhill from here for him.
So like the chump he is, as if his desperate opener wasn’t bad enough, he makes it even WORSE with “I can sure as hell try”. So now he is completely lacking in confidence in his actual ability to meet her needs, but he will really, really try. Because he’s, you know, so abundantly swimming in fine ladies that he really needs to do anything in the world to get a sweet taste of this one.
And look at the result. As if he hadn’t already buried himself. She didn’t respond… certainly, this was because she was practically in a multiple-orgasm-induced coma after reading that response. NOT.
And then, after not getting anything back (what did you expect?) he tries one more desperate outreach. Correcting his previous failed attempt, which makes it look even more pathetic and incongruous, and trying to sell himself to her even further.
Ultra, ULTRA cringe.
He’ll do anything. I’ll betcha he would let her shit on his carpet if he gets to watch her pull her pants down.
And I’ll betcha ten bucks he’s blowing up her DMs too… actually I’ll put a thou on that.
There’s a deeper layer here that is quite interesting. Note how this dude is so fixated on offering her anything, that he is in fact not giving her the one thing she really wants, which is for him to be connected with his own life in such a way that his cup already runneth over without her, which will allow her to actually gain value from his presence. “To them that hath shall it be given”! 😉
Read that again.
Note also that this guy does have a good physique. And this is interesting because it all but proves that it’s less important than charisma. Muscles are just muscles. Clothes are just clothes. But it’s the man who wears them that matters.
Someone probably told him that chiseled pecs were all that he needed and that this would be enough to seal the deal. Nope…
The Worst Part…
The worst part is that this is NORMAL. There are TONS of these. She gets HUNDREDS of them on each pic. She responds, leading them on in order to soak up even more attention – and then they double respond their pathetic, needy ass-kissing back.
What’s extraordinary about it is how predictable it all is, once you see the patterns. Here’s another example (I could easily find 10,000 of these if I could be bothered):
literally every single hot girl’s photo comment section on fetlife
I mean seriously, men. What the fuck happened???
How about setting the frame that you have standards of behavior that a person needs to reach in order to be part of your world?
Note how the pattern is ALWAYS the same. Same shit EVERY time!
1) Ass-kissing compliment.
2) Coquettish response.
3) Overly grateful, obsequious insta-response
4) crickets. GAME OVER.
She will NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER get with any of these men!!!!! I’m really trying to help you!!!!
If you live your life in such a way that you need her attention and approval in order to feel good, you are setting yourself up for a life of unhappiness, truly. It’s actually a leftover from childhood called toxic shame and it’s essentially the feeling that we are not good enough as we are – and therefore need to try to work for validation rather than focusing on what actually brings us direct fulfillment.
You essentially have to validate yourself, then you can free yourself from the self-imposed tyranny of giving a shit what she thinks of you. And when you stop giving a shit, you start thinking of fun, sexy, charismatic things to say. But you can’t fake it! Those fun things arise spontaneously when you are in the right space and feeling the right energy inside yourself.
Understanding All Of This Puts You Miles Ahead Of The Pack
As Napoleon famously said “Never interrupt your enemy while he’s making a mistake.”
While in one sense I would like to help these dudes, I’m not going to cry over it – because all the more for us! If they can’t be bothered to respect themselves enough to learn the social arts, and to start being MEN…. it’s not my problem.
Commit to self improvement on all levels. Respect yourself enough to admit that there are some skills you simply do not have yet (that’s all it is, social skills!) and that it’s time to go to school and start learning.
If you get you some game, you have a massive advantage over the competition.
I mean, massive. She can spot real masculinity a mile off and she LOVES it.
When a man has a real internal compass and is not at the mercy of childish approval-seeking behavior, she’s eating out of your hand. Finally, here is a man who can make her FEEL something exciting. Who turns her on.
She can also see weak shit a mile off. Don’t think for one moment you can fake. Going back and looking at her profile 8 times after you wrote her. Liking more of her pics in the hope she will come back. STOP IT. Be on your way. You have other things to do.
Who cares if she writes you back or not? You literally shouldn’t care.
In fact AWESOME, because it’s one less chick to have to deal with and you can spend your day becoming even more fantastic, while her flock of needy orbiters are blowing up her DMs and slowly wasting away.
Life is amazing – for you!
The Mega Important Takeaway… *drum roll*…
For your game to be on point, the most important factor, the absolute deciding factor…. is that your life should already be awesome without her in it. When you give it to yourself metaphorically speaking, and choose the awesome life you truly want, and work like a tiger to create it – then you will love yourself, love your life, be full of pride, radiate and smile and won’t feel as though you need to try to get something from her… which is attractive.
It’s a beautiful paradox. When you need her you can’t have her. Soon as you don’t give a shit, truly, she will appear.
And everything you do, no matter how you try to dress it up, will reflect your true inner state. It’s unavoidable.
It all comes from within. Now you know what the playas meant when they said “The sauce is in you, not on you.”
Carefree vs. Resigned
Note carefully that being carefree is completely different to resignation. When you say “screw it all, I just don’t care any more” – that’s not being carefree, it’s resignation and that is extremely unattractive. An attractive man really does care – about his quality of life! He cares so much about it, in fact, that he puts his happiness first at all times and chooses a life that he truly loves.
And she’s welcome to jump in so long as she acts cool.
Mastery Takes Time
You have to pay your dues and respect the game. It’s like learning a language.
You can’t learn it in one evening out of a book. You go visit the country and start by fumbling through a simple sentence until you gradually get fluent.
Go look on Instagram, or Fetlife or other places where girls post sexy pics and get tons of comments, and scroll the comments. When you are starting to see thirsty cringe everywhere, to the point where you can hardly bear to look at it… then you are on course.
If you find yourself looking at messages you wrote yesterday and seeing fuckups everywhere – that’s good. It means you are getting it.
If you find yourself just not caring and forgetting to write back to some girl, and some time later (days / weeks / months) she pops up out of the blue – excellent. Now you are getting there.
Don’t be afraid to look at your old threads and soak up all the ways you screwed up. Own it. It’s ok. None of us was born with this on lock. We all have to pay our dues to the game.