by “It’s Just A Ride” – Bill Hicks
The old school pimps used to have a philosophical saying to keep their feelings in check and give them perspective when dealing with their girls. “Ho’s come and go, cop and blow”.
Now what does this mean and how is it relevant to you square players? 😉
Essentially it means that, a woman is a woman and she could do anything at any time for any reason or for no reason at all. She could literally be gone tomorrow. You might realistically never see her again. This is of course a stone cold fact. And so, you temper your expectations and get on with your life.
You should aim to reach the point where you are absolutely 100% unruffled if a girl you are dating blows you out. Who cares, seriously? If someone cares about you, then care about them. But if they don’t care about you and demonstrate that, why should you continue to care about them?
The only thing you lost is someone who doesn’t love you, and that is no loss at all! Like buses, another one will be along in 5 minutes… especially if you are chill and carefree. And besides – you have an amazing life to be getting on with anyway… don’t you…? You damn well should have and if not, you better fix that first! Because it is YOUR life that you should be inviting her along for the ride with. You don’t change and mold your life around her – unless you are crazy – because the more you do that, the more you will smother her and the more she will retreat… until you finally make a lunge to try to keep her…. and she runs away.
You don’t look to a woman to “complete” you. Complete yourself and invite her along for the ride, if she desires it. Don’t put yourself in a compromised position where you are reliant on her for your happiness. Because this, specifically, is what will get you dumped. She will test you, oh she will, to see if you have real strength, to see if you are secure in yourself. It is a funny paradox but true: The less affected you are by her, the more you are “happy anyway”, the less you need her… the more she wants and admires you. She doesn’t want you to be ‘weak for her’. She wants you to be strong so that she can be weak for you.
Live as though she is not central to your life. You already have your center and she is just a bonus. This is sensible. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t get close to someone. You should. But you should keep it in perspective.
When it comes to dating, don’t go so far out of your way because of her that you are not living the life you want, that it would be inconvenient if she did not show up. Don’t let them get to you that way. Any chick could blow you out at any time, so even if you are traveling to meet her – have a backup plan; something interesting or constructive to be doing.
Getting overly fixated happens when you are not confident of your ability to do just as well next time around. Or when you start thinking that she is some kind of “special bird” that you need to try to hang on to.
No she is not and no you do not.
It does not matter if her thighs are made of silk and her bosom perfectly shaped by Aphrodite from the costliest alabaster. It does not matter how well she sucks your cock. There are plenty of other fantastic women out there.
Enjoy the ride.
It does not matter how adoringly she gazes at you (she only does this because of what you are doing for HER… and the moment you stop fulfilling HER ideals she will stop looking at you that way I promise you!)
Enjoy the ride.
She is not “the one”. She is “just a woman”. And there are fucking millions of them. Stop giving a shit, pimp! Cop and blow. Breathe in her feminine scent, enjoy her curves, marvel at this wonderful gift that nature has managed to fashion from stardust, laugh… and let it go. This is fun… remember? Imagine her as an elemental – a force of nature, subject to mysterious flows and currents that flow through her and carry her wherever they will.
All of what she says, applies only to that moment. So when she looks at you adoringly and says “I want you forever”… do NOT take that literally, because that is only how she feels right now. She wants that to be continually reinforced in a sequence of unending present moments. She wants to have that feeling of “I want you forever” tomorrow, but don’t take it literally! It is all about feelings, not logic. She does NOT want to have to adhere to something that she felt yesterday; she wants to feel it all over again today. It was an expression of momentary sentiment, not a contract. The past is gone – especially for her.
Do not even try to analyze her motives. Don’t waste your time on that shit! If you can learn and improve from her blowing you out, do so… but it might not be anything to do with you at all and you are most likely better off not trying to analyze the kitten-basket of her mind. Women do all kinds of things for all kinds of reasons and if you have been paying attention, you will quickly note that – just as with men – not all of those reasons are good, and not all of them make any sense at all. Oh, women love the freedom that “women’s lib” has given them but with freedom comes the fact that they are now not only free to do awesome things but also free to make all the astonishing mistakes that they were being protected from making before.
Sorry but it is true. I see women – like men – making the most spectacularly terrible decisions. Ask them if they are a “sapiosexual” – attracted to high intelligence – and they will say “Oh yes, that is definitely me”. But then watch her choose the loser who just got out of prison who chokes her, hits her around, knocks her up and then leaves. I have just seen it with my own two eyes… many times.
You might be having an amazing, sexual, passionate, loving, wonderful relationship with a woman. But you are far better to assume that the ride could be over tomorrow, because it could. She could be gone any time. And if it stops being fun, it’s time to move on.
Enjoy the ride, and when the ride stops, jump out, say “That was cool! What’s next?”
That, and don’t get married.
