by Here are the seven categories women put men in, often within minutes or even seconds of meeting them. I’ve started at the top, with the most desirable.
Note that these are archetypes and it is likely that you have a mix of these qualities.
Note also that it is possible to “gear shift” in between these categories – either up or down, depending on whether you improve, or blow it.
You can tell which category you have been placed in by how she treats you, just as the Moon reflects the light of the Sun. Women are usually right about this stuff and have highly tuned perception for evaluating males rapidly and dealing with them accordingly. It’s an important evolutionary trait. Accept the signals and learn from them, rather than being annoyed at her. The honest barometer of her reaction to you is the best thing you can receive and your ability to receive it will dictate how fast you learn and become a more desirable man.
Whether you accept your fate or whether you do something about it is entirely up to you. But you cannot fake, because she will sound you out. The only thing you can do is raise your game and your desirability to the point where you naturally occupy the position you wish to be in.
1. The Fully Realized Man
This is the Man who has it together on all levels. He is the Man For All Seasons. Successful in all areas of his life. Warrior, Magician, Lover, King. He is strong without cruelty, dominant but not domineering. He is the true “good man” that women bemoan the fact that they cannot find.
Within this archetype / subset of men you will find the intelligent leader, who has a life built on strong foundations of health, honesty and harmony, generally has a stable family life and a loyal, loving, attractive partner – the Queen to his King – and will be found working towards a higher purpose in the world. He balances his own needs adroitly with the needs of his partner, his family and the greater good.
Another type of fully realized man might be called the sexy bachelor. This type has come to the fore in recent times and has deliberately chosen the single lifestyle. He might be described as the intelligent, successful, mature lover/friend with no strings, no bullshit games and totally good vibes. These are attractive, confident, mature single men who have their shit together on all levels, are comfortable in their own skins, are inspiring and exciting to be around and are straight to the point without being insecure, cheesy, needy, players, bad boys, or manipulators.
2. Prince Charming
Prince Charming is the female fantasy. The true Don Juan. The rarest of them all. He is the idealized combination of alpha (lover) and beta (husband), having all of their best qualities and none of their bad qualities. He is depicted in Hollywood, Disney and the land of make-believe.
Prince Charming is a magnificent specimen – handsome, put-together, sexy and powerful, yet also successful, accomplished, fearless, caring; a protector, a lover, a stud and a champion… every woman wants him and yet the fantasy is that despite having countless women throwing themselves at him, he chooses HER, sees her unique, perfect beauty and femininity, and sweeps her off to his castle in the clouds.
It’s nonsense, really. These characters are more the stuff of legend than real life – however they do exist. Top-level rock stars, princes, billionaire playboys, models, actors, top-level pickup artists who literally bang hundreds of women, and other elite characters may occupy this category.
Playing the Prince Charming card takes immense amounts of preparation, skill and Mastery. It’s a life path. Prince Charming is the man with all the aces. Yet watch out. When you press this fantasy-button in a female, she will idealize you and go into delirium. She will physically throw herself at you. If you do this right, they will literally lose control – for better or for worse; often for worse.
There’s a video I couldn’t find of Robert Smith (from the band The Cure) in his prime on stage, being mobbed by two women, who were clinging to him as though their lives depended on it and had to be physically peeled off him by security while he is attempting to sing a song. There is an even more extreme example of Bill Kaulitz from the band Tokio Hotel having serious problems with female stalkers. Now us mere mortals will probably never have this problem but it is an interesting lesson in female psychology and what happens when you become their ultimate fantasy.
More Robert Smith in his prime. A Prince Charming masterclass.
Look also at Dave Gahan (Depeche Mode), Jimmy Urine (Mindless Self Indulgence), Johnny Depp as Don Juan DeMarco, Brad Pitt, Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin) in his prime for more examples of super charming men.
A classic example from history was Franz Liszt. Widely regarded as the best pianist of all time, the most famous person alive in his day, fabulously handsome and with impeccable charm; he caused women to lose their heads completely. During one of his piano recitals, a silver snuff box fell from his pocket as he was playing. Two women lunged for it – while he was playing – and started brawling, right there in the middle of the concert hall. Another time, a woman snatched up his discarded cigar-butt and kept it in a locket, clasped to her chest for the rest of her life. True story. Liszt likely bedded more countesses and princesses than anyone else who ever lived. And there are many, many more tales.
To become Prince Charming you will need to set yourself absolutely apart from mere mortals, be desired by all and completely unattainable in some way. You will need superhuman game, superhuman good looks, youth, almost supernatural abilities – and massive social proof in the form of hordes of adoring female fans. This character is the one who has all the aces (link to the four cards article coming soon). Curiously, Prince Charming is not necessarily the most muscular, alpha hulk. Many examples we see are of a man in touch with his feminine side and this reflects in his dandy dress, jewelry, flawless demeanor, coquettish nature, playfulness. For Prince Charming is an expert in femininity. He touches her deep inside and causes her femininity to explode into flower.
Now it might sound like the best job in the world but honestly, you may not even wish to be too deeply caught up in this category; because there is an element of real danger involved. Prince Charming upsets the balance of power and the real-world consequences of Him sweeping into her life may not be good – and may even be disastrous. Jealous husbands may want to kill you, she may become obsessed and stalk you, and so on. You are human, yet she has idolized you; pinned all her hopes and fantasies on you. Inevitably at some point, you will let her down – either by revealing some trait of a mere mortal or, more likely, by charming another female – at which point female A will lose her mind and turn into a psychotic, raving lunatic with potentially catastrophic consequences. Watch the movie “Dangerous Liaisons”.
Perhaps the only way to play this card, if it is to be played at all, is either to be an actual rock star, unattainable, or be like the Don Juan played by Johnny Depp:
“I hope you went ahead without me”. Yes, she will do that…
Don Juan offers her a one night stand, with the assurance that it will never be repeated. But it will be a night she thinks about for the rest of her life. Watch out for the jealous husband.
Note that there is a huge difference between Prince Charming and the “Nice Guy” – a difference that must be understood.
3. The Seducer / alpha aka. Bad Boy
The Seducer / Alpha / Player type is sexy, but treats her somewhat poorly, if not downright abusively – and likely cheats on her, regularly, with other women.
This male has abundant options with women and is not at all worried if he loses one, because he can easily get more. He exudes natural masculinity, rugged charm and sexiness. Women sense this about him and so they work to keep him around. The tables are shifted. He doesn’t need to chase, they need to chase him – and he knows it. This gives him swag and genuine nonchalance.
Another quality he has is that he does not actually give a single flying fuck about these women. This drives them wild in both senses of the word. Their quests for validation and approval drive them to his bed, but none of this affects the outcome, which is that they will be discarded.
Women do not like to admit – to men – that this class of player exists. Partly because they know he has turned the tables of power, but partly because these guys very often do not treat her very well at all.
The Seducer alpha can make lewd suggestions and get away with it because of the way he does it. He causes pussy to get wet. Women make it easy for him to make a move on them. If you find women are making excuses to hang out with you, openly flirting, text you out of the blue saying “hello handsome” or just want to kick it for no reason, you have a measure of this dynamic going on.
The alpha / seducer generally doesn’t have anxiety or performance issues. The way he differs from Prince Charming is that he is interested primarily in his own pleasure, rather than conquest – and puts himself first in many areas of his life. But he is not Machiavellian. For the above reasons, he generally performs really well – because he is assertive, good looking, forthright and expressive of his carnal self. There is nothing getting in the way. He is exciting, stimulating – and selfish. This also explains the reason why super high IQ guys have a hard time being alpha. They are too stuck in their heads and cannot “get out of their own way” because they are too caught up in mental chess and consideration of a multiplicity of possible outcomes, whereas the alpha is all-action.
Our bad boy seducer is typically a physically imposing specimen – with muscle, height, strong jawline. He may also play the part with motorbike, tattoos, be a DJ, soldier, racing car driver, sportsman or what-not.. yet he does not necessarily need those things. He may be skinny and short, yet have amazing seductive talk, an “edge” and an ability to tap into her primal, submissive femininity. This is the man that women want to be fucked by. He has a general air of “I don’t give a fuck”, flirts openly, goes for what he wants fearlessly, laughs it off if he doesn’t get it and women love his demeanour and vitality, and the fact that he is a successful risk-taker.
He isn’t afraid to be a dick and is in fact the dick that women whine about to their beta boyfriends (but still get turned on by).
Quite often, alphas are to some extent losers in other areas of life. Because they truly don’t give a shit. They are not trying not to give a shit, they actually don’t! They are not focused on the stable, mundane, boring world. They do not go out of their way to provide for her and may even be oblivious to her needs. They have a harder time holding down a relationship. They have drama. They may even end up in prison. They generally don’t care two shits about her. They go for what they want and take what they want – and it keeps women – more specifically insecure women – coming back for more. The Alpha is quite often a “man child” who doesn’t take responsibility because he can get laid anyway.
If you want to be more Alpha:
•Work out more and harder. Get into it. You will get leaner and also it will build testosterone, which will develop your alpha nature. Consider this absolutely non-negotiable.
•Stop giving so much of a fuck what people think, and about what girls think of you.
•Stop over-thinking everything in general.
•Have fun. Fill your life to overflowing with awesome. Do whatever makes YOU excited. Get in touch with this part of yourself instead of living the life of the person who always is thinking of the welfare of others and neglecting his own needs.
•Maintain an abundance mentality. The world is a glorious place full of adventure and opportunities to have fun. There are tons of beautiful women out there.
•Go for what you want but do not pursue and of course do not molest. Be flirtatious and playful, but if she doesn’t pick up what you are putting down, laugh it off, say you were just joking and move on.
•Create a fun, adventure-filled lifestyle. Dump your stressful life and start living the fun life you want. Give it to yourself.
4. The Provider / beta / boyfriend / husband
The beta may have a nice house, a nice car and provide for her, but doesn’t turn her on. He is a “nice guy” and a pleaser.
The Provider is generally truly successful in other areas of his life except with women – and his dating strategy “master plan” is to attempt to capitalize on his success in other areas of his life, in order to increase his chances with females.
This strategy backfires spectacularly when it comes to his sex life. Now providers do get laid, but she will not think of it as the best sex of her life and will in all likelihood be at least somewhat bored. His modus operandi does not turn her on and appears to her to be manipulative – even though the provider mistakenly thinks he is being more of a man than those low-class “bad boy” alphas – who he looks down upon for having less money, not having their shit together, treating her poorly etc. It vexes the hell out of him as to why she would choose to fuck the alpha over him.
The Provider may well be in a relationship – and his lady might be “going through the motions” – but if you are in the provider/beta category, she may make excuses as to why she isn’t in the mood, she may fake orgasm and she probably won’t be making a big effort to steer things towards sex. She may well be probably secretly getting banged by an alpha – or at least wishing she was. Don’t get upset; humans like sex. If you are a beta boyfriend, she is also probably really sad you don’t turn her on, because she likes everything else about you. You are caring, kind, courteous.. but be honest; you are only really doing all this stuff in the hope it will make you seem “worthy”.
If it feels as though she is making you jump through hoops to get sex, despite all your best efforts to please her (stop that), you are in this category. If she dresses up to the nines to go “out with the girls” but never for you, you are in this category. She’s in control of how much pussy you get, it is driving you crazy and yet you are unwilling to walk away for various reasons including a perception that “she’s your best option”.
Even when the provider is her boyfriend, lewd suggestions may lead to his getting shamed. If she ever says “all you think about is sex”… you are in this category. Sorry. Even though you bought her a house and did everything you thought would make you a great man – your sexual desires are absolutely not her priority. But she will break the provider off a bit – not a super amount – if it keeps him around and keeps him providing. However – it is husband sex, not lover sex. Generally, he does not make her orgasm and even if he does, it is perfunctory, serving the most basic purpose only and not super engaging, heart stopping, sheet ripping sex.
The provider / beta is usually living a stressful life. He does not spend as much of his life having fun as he wants, whereas the more selfish alpha generally lives to party, have adventures and be wild. While the Beta lives “for her”, the Alpha lives “for himself”. This also gives the Alpha better social energy, better “state”. The provider is mired in a world of bills, duties and responsibilities, going out once a week at best. Some provider types literally almost never go out. Sadly, these men are actually in many ways very deserving of a great woman, because they are often great men who go to great lengths to bring happiness and support to those around them. And the women who reject them sexually will say blue pill bullshit such as “Oh you are such a great guy, just be patient and the right one will come along”. But the facts are facts – the part she will not admit (fear of getting shamed) is that these men don’t get her pussy wet and that will probably be the same with the other women that come along, too.
Many betas go on to become MGTOWs (Men Going Their Own Way i.e. cutting females out of their lives completely) after being divorced and brutally crushed by the woman of their dreams.
Men who are waking up to these facts are generally called “red pill” – the red pill of truth being that the provider frame, much as it is still championed by mainstream society as the model of excellence, no longer works as a dating strategy. It may have done so prior to the sexual revolution but those days are gone and being the provider now leads men down a path of misery, rejection and sexual despair. So there is a cognitive dissonance; with men still doing everything they were told they ought to do by their families in order to be good men, and devoting their entire lives to this… and being giving, kind, courteous, charming, loving, caring, generous… and getting absolutely shat on, even despised, by the women whose femininity was not aroused by them. These kinds of breakup can cause them a huge emotional crash, even push them to being suicidal – with the provider feeling that he has been exploited and used, perhaps for decades.
The beta/provider’s “big mistake” is in making her the focus of his life and seeing her as his “ultimate achievement” – thus not prioritizing his needs, especially his sexual needs, as equal to those of his woman – and not maintaining clear, strong boundaries. There is often an element of sexual shame which prevents him from being a self assured, powerfully masculine lover. It also prevents him from accepting, embracing and celebrating her true nature as a sexual creature. Slut-shaming is a hallmark beta trait reeking of bitterness and the Alpha never does it. Also – the Alpha will go get it somewhere else if she does not give it to him, because he has no shame about his sexual needs – and thus never allows himself to fall into a fruitless chase.
The beta foolishly thinks that if he meets her other needs, she will reciprocate with meeting his “big need”, the big thing missing from his life… sex. This is what is known in psychology as a secret contract and comes across as manipulative; despite the fact that to the beta’s “man logic” it seems very fair to him. Sex should not be a “deal”. It should be done out of desire. “Transactional sex” is a massive turn-off to women.
You are only treated as badly as you allow yourself to be treated. If you do not have strong boundaries, it is completely on you.
The provider type generally has weak game and thus does not have as many options sexually, and so she is able to make him jump through her hoops – which he would never actually do if he had multiple, eager options. She will keep a guy as sexually satisfied as she needs to in order to keep him around. This is exactly why she will instinctively satisfy the player guy, suck his dick and make him sandwiches. With the beta-boyfriend, she has already got him, so her biological imperative does not impel her to seduce him. It’s instinct and you cannot blame her for it. Start putting yourself first, walk away from relationships that are not meeting your needs, and… get out and meet more girls.
5. The Orbiter
The first four were the “sex-worthy” categories. Now we come on to those deemed unsexworthy. There is in one sense a clear split between those above and those below this line.
The Orbiter has only himself to blame for ending up in this miserable category, really. He is so named because he orbits around her without truly initiating a docking sequence. He is an “admirer” – who is too timid to make a direct move, and she has no sexual interest in him whatsoever. He is also so non-threatening that she can – and does – exploit him for favors. She will call him when she needs a ride, and he will come running. Then she will say “thank you darling you are so amazing” and then “gotta go, bye” and he will say “ok honey call me whenever”. And she will… when she needs his help again.
She may even have flirted with him a little – in the past – but he continues to live in passive hope, despite the fact that she never shows him any genuine indications of interest.
He is extremely attached to the outcome and so daren’t make a move for fear of blowing it. He only stays in this category so long as he doesn’t make a move or otherwise become a nuisance or embarrassment to her – at which point he would be friendzoned.
If you find yourself continuing to text a girl who is not responding; or if you are buying gifts for women who are not your girlfriend – these are orbiter behaviors. Don’t do it. Stop being at her beck and call. Delete her number and move on. It’s done. It is typically very hard to impossible to salvage this situation without massive self-improvement and continued efforts merely reveal you as needy and desperate, not a person of abundant options like the alpha would be. It is “one-itis”. Remember, the kind of man she wants is the kind of man who has options, is congruent with his intentions and thus is unattached.
Another thing she might do to an orbiter is invite him to a social event that she is at. He takes this as an IOI and goes there all hopeful, but he completely doesn’t see that he has just been made to jump through her hoop. Having lots of guys giving her attention makes her feel validated, ups her buying temperature, gives her social status. If you jumped through her hoop, you probably ain’t getting any, son. Don’t jump through her hoops, ever. Give her a hoop to jump through instead. That’s frame control.
The other thing an orbiter does is listen to her problems. She may call him to tell him about how the alpha has treated her like shit. Don’t ever make the mistake of thinking that it will help your chances to be the opposite of him. No. In fact, take these things as a great tutorial in how to be the kind of man that women obsess over.
If you are bored, either cut in with something fun or tell her you have to go – and to be in touch if she wants to get together for an actual date.
Stopping “orbiter behavior” is vital, but is still not the only step towards getting success with women. You need to both remove unattractive traits and instill attractive ones.
6. Friendzone
This man makes the mistake of deliberately masking his sexual interest from the get-go, deliberately “minimizing risk”; a very unattractive trait reeking of insecurity, thirst and performance anxiety.
Once he has done this, it makes it hard to “out” his true intentions, and he is constantly seeking, vexedly, the right moment to make his move. Only trouble is, the right moment never comes, and he is inwardly tortured… so at some point it blurts out, often super awkwardly and he feels like he is making a fool of himself even as he spits out his statement of desire. Embarrassingly, she tells him “we are just good friends” or “I would prefer to just keep things the way they are”. If this type of thing happens, either your game was simply weak, unconfident and not smooth.. or she was just not interested full stop. Better to flirt right from the outset and be unattached to the outcome. Some you win, some you lose and it’s best to cut the losses quicker, not get hung up on them and invest your time in self improvement instead of following around some chick that you foolishly told yourself was “the one”.
It is often said by those in the know that a girl does not put a man in the friendzone, he puts himself in there. When you understand this, you have got it. The friendzone is a desperate and dissatisfied state of mind. You do not want to “hang out” there. Reveal your attraction sooner rather than later. If she gives you the let’s just be friends speech / text / etc; either delete her number and move on, or just forget about it, or state that you have no interest whatsoever in being just friends. If she is not romantically interested, move on. The situation does not meet your needs!
Whatever you do, don’t make the mistake of “accepting” her friendzone offer in the secret hope that she will change her mind later. By doing this you signal that your needs and desires are negotiable. This ain’t good. Far better to put your bid in, say you want her and are not interested in “just friends”, but she is welcome to get in touch if she changes her mind – and then cut off the interaction politely but clearly. Then DO NOT call back or attempt to chase in any way whatsoever. It’s not manly. State your intent, stand your ground and maintain total control of your frame. Remember in a civilized negotiation, if the other party will not accept your terms, what would you do? Simply get up and walk away from the table.
Sometimes it might be a shit test; she might be putting you in friend zone to test your frame. Either way, the only way to win it is to state your desire without shame and hold your ground. If she has any actual interest… she will be in touch. If she is not in touch, she was truly not interested and you should be man enough to just let it go.
We are “trained” to be polite and not tell girls that we want them, often shamed for our desires and it sucks to find out that doing what we thought made us “good men” absolutely kills our chances. A man must be rock solid in his ownership of his desires and have no shame about them. He must also not force them on others and accept that others may not desire the same.
The best overall cure; stop being ashamed of your desires. It is perfectly acceptable to desire a woman; though you must of course respect her boundaries. If she tries to shame or insult your statement of desire, own it, laugh it off and say “I am a man, I do have a pulse, what do you expect?” and casually change the subject as if nothing happened.
7. The Creep
The creep is completely un-sexworthy in her eyes. He essentially has zero chance (unless he pays to play). She finds him loathsome and her greatest hope is that he will not make a move on her. The creep’s main failing is given away by the name – creep.. he “creeps while she sleeps” and secretly plots to get her; but has terrible self-esteem, is unsure of himself, super nervous, desperate, may follow or even stalk her obsessively. These are the primary characteristics. Secondary characteristics are generally physical and reflect that he has put more energy into jerking off onto pictures of her than into personal grooming. So he may be overweight, socially uncalibrated, have bad breath, terrible style sense, smell bad, be a slob or various other unattractive-yet-fixable traits. This is the person she skillfully avoids at 3am when the nightclub has turned into a “sausage fest” of intoxicated low-status males. All she wants is for this person to leave her alone. She hates these people, avoids them at all costs and typically for a hot girl, is frustrated about the sheer amount of energy it takes to keep them away from her.
To get out of this category, a good start is by fixing yourself up.
First of all, get the foundations (aka “fundamentals”) of your life together. Start taking care of yourself and loving yourself. Start putting your quality of life first. Nothing is worth sacrificing your health, prosperity or sanity for. Get your logistics handled:
Get your money straight.
Get your health straight.
Hit the gym.
Get your grooming straight – fix your teeth, hair, etc.
Get your wardrobe together.
Celebrate life, rather than over-obsessing on getting laid.
Cut the negative influences from your life.
It is never too late to change your ways. Stop chasing, work on yourself, let her be her… and enjoy who she is without wanting her to be any other way.
8. Wallpaper
There’s actually an eighth category – although this might be considered a non-category in that these men are simply not “seen” and therefore not categorized: Wallpaper.
Whereas The Creep is deliberately avoided, The Orbiter and the Friendzoned Man make some kind of failed attempt, Wallpaper is simply not noticed. These men are barely even background noise and don’t evoke a response either positive or negative. They aren’t making any effort whatsoever to game. This category may even be the largest of all. The category may also include old men who just aren’t trying any more, stable married men not in the sexual marketplace, those who are sick and infirm, the seriously obese, but the majority will simply be passive bystanders who dress entirely plain and do not make any real attempt to get noticed, look good or involve themselves in her life in any direct way.
Some have placed themselves in this category deliberately – for example “true” MGTOWs, those who have taken vows of celibacy, monks and the various kinds of recluse.
I am generalizing – but these men typically do not make any attempts whatsoever to game her. They may admire her from afar, but have essentially either been deselected by fate, have deselected themselves either deliberately or are doing nothing whatsoever. And as has been said, if you do nothing, your genes will be unceremoniously snuffed from existence.
It’s an irony that this category also includes men who were told “just be yourself” and took it a little too literally.
As for being “too old” – consider that Charlie Chaplin married his 18 year old love at the age of 54 and sired his 11th child at the age of 72… and this was before Viagra. You can’t help but feel a bit proud. Go on boy!
I also read a true confession once of a 20 year old lady having a wild sexual affair with a man 4x her age. They continued hooking up until he finally left this world….
