by Introduction
“It’s your duty to be beautiful… If you want to be loved.”
If you look great, eyes will go up when you enter a room. People will notice you. Women will smile at you when you look at them. Women will make and hold eye contact with you more than is necessary. If you approach, they will start fussing over their hair, suddenly becoming concerned over their physical appearance and wanting to be found desirable by him.
If you look really great, women will deliberately position themselves near you in the hope that you notice them. If you are in the club, women will come and dance near you and ‘put on a display’, becoming louder, dancing more sexily, hoping to catch your attention. You may catch them clocking you with a sudden over-the-shoulder look right at you to see if you are paying attention to their display (great sign). Confident women may even open you directly (initiate conversation). If you are already in conversation, their eyes will widen, they may twirl or play with their hair and they will focus intently on you, happy to give you their undivided attention – rather than having arms protectively folded and eyes that wander around the room. If you post an online dating profile, you will get several unsolicited messages per day from women. The better you look, the more messages you will get, the bolder women become and the more extraordinary the things they will do in order to get and keep your attention.
If none of the above things are happening, then either you need to get your eyes tested or – more likely – you are just not looking all that striking and are being treated as wallpaper. If you post an online dating profile and you don’t get lots of messages from women, then you are not looking all that great. Sorry. She has better looking options than you and sees you as “just another dude”. And if you don’t think women are really that concerned by looks; why have they taken to Tinder en masse? It enables them to filter by looks at unprecedented speed. Women are massively influenced by looks and this single fact absolutely dictates the rules of the game.
I know, this is a brutal reality check but it really is true – and the sooner you can suck it up, the sooner you can take action. How many women have called you “handsome” this week? How many women have opened you out of the blue? How many unsolicited messages did you receive from women? Develop your peripheral awareness and use the amount of actual attention you are getting as an accurate yardstick of how good looking you are. Do NOT ask women if they think you are good looking because you will not get a straight answer if they do not think you are good looking. You will get a “you are fine” or “you are not bad” or “just be confident” or some other watered down nonsense. They also don’t want to have to teach you how to be a man. Be aware also that women are often not conscious of how much they are influenced by looks, and that good looks create a “halo effect” that cause them to see you are “interesting” or have various other positive qualities.
You Are NOT Stuck
Every man has the opportunity to raise his looks by a very significant degree. There are many things you can do in order to increase your attractiveness and the goal of this tutorial is to enable you to raise yourself by at least two “points” – according to the arbitrary scale of 1 to 10.
It will take some hard work, some introspection and some commitment but you CAN do this – and it is absolutely worth it because you will get tangible gains in your success in attracting women. If you are single, you will get more attention. When women see other women checking you out, their interest will grow – and if you are already in a relationship, your girlfriend will want more sex, more often. And your chances of getting laid will simply go up – especially when you also improve your logistics, your game and your social status.
Important note – looks are important, but do not over-obsess on them because they are not everything. In the end, being a masterful lover trumps all things, and if you have no game and are completely “ill-cliterate”, she will lose interest VERY fast. If you don’t believe me, ask women the interesting question whether the best looking guys are also the best lays. And enjoy the answers! 😉
So if you have ever read the “advice” (terrible advice) that looks are the only thing that matters, it’s VITAL to forget that because you really are self-sabotaging with that kind of attitude.
But looks absolutely will make a difference.
Being an “average man”, and in particular being both genetically average looking and presenting yourself averagely, simply doesn’t cut it in today’s world. Why? Because in the age of social media, women have tons of choices, are getting constant attention and have also had their attention span reduced by technology.
As a result of this over-stimulation and the distorted perception of unlimited options it gives, she has an inflated sense of her own sexual marketplace value and is shooting for the moon in her hopes of catching “the incredibly hot guy” that she feels she deserves.
OkCupid published a set of statistics drawn from their database of millions of user interactions (I can’t be bothered to dig up the link but you could find it) and found that the top 15-20% of males were getting vastly more attention than the other 80%. It was not anywhere near a straight line graph. It clearly showed that women have almost zero interest in “average men”.
She wants a King – or at the very least, a Handsome Prince who has all the four cards – fine looks, abundant wealth, accomplished status and magnetic charisma….
So you need to cut through the pack and stand out.
It’s vital to accept and own the red pill truth that attraction very strongly influences the way women treat you. Don’t ask her to admit to this, but observe it. And remember – you do it too. We are creatures and we are ruled by biology. You treat hot girls way nicer. Yes, you do.
If women are treating you poorly, it is mainly because they are not attracted to you. Yes it is of course good to be a “man of virtue”, but be aware that this in itself does absolutely nothing for whether she is attracted to you – and attempting to attract her with these qualities will most likely cause her to see you as a “simp” or a “white knight”. A lot of guys get this wrong because a lot of women say that they want a guy who is nice, charming etc. What they didn’t tell you is that what they really want is a guy who is hot, charismatic and then gives her lots of attention and care, and chooses her despite having options.
It is the hot part that will get her to chase you…
Looks And Self Esteem
Self-esteem and looks are inextricably linked. Its hard to look great without feeling great, and if you really like yourself, you tend to “give it to yourself” by elevating your appearance to match your mood.
The converse is also true: If you are feeling low, you might tell yourself that there just isn’t any point in bothering.
All of this ties into your perception of your own value. You are valuable, dammit! So start putting yourself first for a change! Take her off the pedestal in your own mind and put yourself back on it. YOU are the one who belongs on the pedestal in your own mind! Own it! There. There you are. Take a good look at yourself. Are you the man you want to be? No? Then it’s time to raise your game. Because that’s your job as a man: To be the most awesome version of yourself you can possibly be. Never put someone else on that pedestal. You belong on there. Never forget this.
The final point about self esteem is that you have absolutely every right to look as good as you please and if anyone is trying to peck you down or ridicule you for wanting to appear your absolute and most impeccable best, they probably have no place in your life and it’s time to put them in the rear view mirror. Just saying.
Now that’s self-esteem handled, let’s get on to the art of looking damn good… 😉
Looking good is something of a collection. It’s not one thing. It involves numerous individual positive characteristics, the more of which you have, the better looking you will be perceived as being. Improve as many as you can – but I’ve indicated which ones are the most important to focus on. Resources are always limited and so you should use them to your greatest advantage…
Facial attractiveness
The most important single aspect of a man’s attractiveness is his face. This is an in-depth topic and much scientific study has been done in order to determine the characteristics of an attractive face. It has all been scientifically worked out.
It’s a challenge to overcome “difficult genetics” without taking extreme and potentially risky measures such as plastic surgery, however there is much else a man can do so don’t get trapped by thinking that you are simply “stuck with the face you have”. You are not stuck.
Another sticking point for many men is abdication and simply not making the effort. They are either lazy, too “busy”, think that it’s unmanly to have a skincare routine, or talk themselves out of doing the work for some other reason. Thankfully these self-defeating attitudes are getting nuked in the modern era. Take excellent care of yourself, Man of God!
It’s not actually vain to want to be more beautiful in order to give others an enjoyable visual experience, is it? You could (almost) argue that it’s totally unselfish and caring. 😉
The science of facial attractiveness has been written up in full elsewhere. Rather than rewrite it all I am just going to link what I thought was a very interesting and useful tutorial – though take note, I think plastic surgery is an extreme measure that should only be used in extreme cases, and with full consideration of the various risks: The complete LOOKS MAXING guide.
Consider carefully the parts about nutrition, about skin care and the comment that someone made: “Facial hair is like makeup for men”.
Jawline: It’s surprising to many men when they learn that females respond so powerfully to jawline, but it’s a fact – and it’s something to give consideration to. There are a number of ways you can improve your jawline.
1) cutting body fat. A rounded facial appearance is caused by a higher body fat %, literally covering the jaw. After I switched to intermittent fasting and hit the iron, I got the first comment I had EVER had from a woman saying I had a great jawline! She noticed before I did! Just losing that bit of body fat reveals the jaw and makes it more pronounced.
2) Chewing gum.
3) Dental work that improves the “bite”.
4) Mewing and other forms of facial exercise (for example the “jawsrcise” that apparently tones the face and improves blood flow, improving both muscularture and skin tone, although I haven’t actually tried it myself.)
5) There are maxillofacial surgery options to correct defects if this kind of help is required.
Height
Many women objectify men very seriously based on their height – and it’s one of the more difficult aspects for a man to overcome – though certainly not impossible. Your options are pretty much to wear built-up shoes, and that’s about it. So do it. Platform shoes such as these awesome New Rock Boots can add 2 to 3 (or more) inches to your height (2 3/4 in the case of the shoes at the link) – and when you are lying down she is not going to be thinking about your height any more. 😉 You can also wear thick insoles / lifts in your shoes to bump up your height a little more.
There are more extreme boots than this and I say… why not… one thing that is super interesting is that the visual impression is the part that counts. Women wear makeup and you know it’s “fake”. You know it’s not what she actually looks like. But your brain doesn’t care. It’s hardwired to respond. I like it when girls wear makeup because it looks hot and that matters more to me than whether she is “cheating”. It’s the same with tall shoes…
To demonstrate an example of how astonishingly extreme women’s objectification of men’s height can be, Heightism Exposed and Heightism Report are Twitter accounts that have collected eye-popping examples of heightism from other tweets, mostly from women. Warning, many of the tweets collected here are extraordinarily offensive, a shocking testament to these women’s callous indifference and even hatred towards men they consider to have low value. If you had any illusions about women being the ‘fairer sex’ or some other nonsense like that, reading those tweets will bury it. These are female biological imperatives expressed uncut, from the safety of being behind the keyboard. She’s driven by biology – just like you.
Do note however that despite the fact that height is clearly “trendy” for women, strong cards in other aspects can overcome shortness. Tom Cruise for example is 5’7″ but had legions of female fans in his day. Brad Pitt is I believe 5’7″. Charlie Chaplin was a diminutive 5’4″, married his 18 year old love at the age of 54 and sired his 11th child at the age of 72!! Prince was even shorter at either 5’2″ or 5’3″, depending on the source, but that didn’t stop him from becoming a superstar with an abundance of fine ladies in his life – as one might expect.
Also: It’s also not entirely uncommon for kinky women to have a fetish for extremely short men. I once saw a crazy show on a cam site that had two guys with dwarfism (a genetic variance that makes the legs very short). I am guessing they were under 5′. They were with two incredibly hot, sexy, freaky blonde porn stars and were driving them wild. The women were hyper-aroused by these guys, who were going at it like energizer bunnies.
I really wish all guys could have witnessed this, not for any other reason than to demolish their ‘height insecurity’. Height is an attraction trigger, sure. I know a guy who is 6’9″ and has fathered 8 kids by 3 different women, go figure. But it isn’t the only attraction trigger.
So don’t be disheartened if you are not tall. Do what you can, and remember the cards analogy from our SMV tutorial: Any and all strong cards are good, and strengths in one suit can overcome lesser cards in another. Make the best of what you have and raise your overall SMV in whatever ways you can.
Musculature / Physique / Body Fat
Probably one of the best things you can do for your looks is to lower your body fat and increase your musculature. Note also that individual preferences vary and that this is also variable depending on your culture – as the idealized physique is different in different countries. In Western countries, if you can achieve the “classic” male V-shaped physique, with powerful shoulders, defined abs, triceps, lats etc, you will be considered generally attractive. Lowering your body fat will also reduce under-chin fat and make your jawline and cheekbones more pronounced, improving your facial characteristics.
How muscular should you be? Interestingly, scientific study has reported that men’s ideas on what women would think of as an ideal male physique are often way off base, with men thinking that they need to be way more built than what women consider ideal. Women’s preference in musculature does however vary considerably. Some women only like very muscular guys, athletes and so on. Others go for the more “skinny rock star” physique.
But there is a well-established ‘median’ here which should be considered as your goal; the “Brad Pitt in Fight Club” physique. In a scientific study that allowed women to rank male torsos, without seeing the face, Brad’s torso came out as a hands-down winner over and above other more-ripped physiques as well as skinnier guys: The Ideal Male Physique — What girls want & what guys want to be. This is good news for men because this body shape is much more attainable than some of the ultra-muscular bodybuilder physiques that men think they need – and which many women actually don’t find attractive! Note that Brad’s physique for the movie Fight Club, (which was the top physique chosen by women) was the result of rigorous training before the movie shoot and likely not the exact physique that he carries around daily.
Note of course that how women respond verbally may be different to how they respond physically – and their response to “alpha” males has been shown to vary at different times in their cycle. Note also that if she has a hot boyfriend she might even try to “tone down” how he appears to others, so that she can lower her risk of losing him to another woman! It’s ass-backwards but I’ve actually had a girlfriend say ‘please don’t get any more ripped’. I call BS. I think she was scared of losing me. Who knows?
Note also that it is not necessarily vital to be ripped in order to get girls – if your status is high and you have a very attractive face.
To prove this, there are many examples of “skinny rock stars” who have legions of female fans. Example – Tom Kaulitz of the band Tokyo Hotel (he’s the one with the big hair). Now this man is not by any stretch of the imagination muscular – but at the time that this photo was taken the band had legions of screaming female fans. Note however that he does have low body fat, is taller than his bandmates, and has exceptional facial features – jawline, cheekbones, eyebrows etc are all classic “model looks”. He also has “rock star hair” which is big, spiky and flamboyant (see the section on “peacocking” below) and classic rock star clothes and jewelry.
Low body fat is highly desirable to many women, though you don’t want to go too far / look as though you are starving because too low body fat is also considered a turn-off. Again, refer to the link above about the ideal male physique, which breaks it down. It’s interesting to note that in ancient times, a broad torso was highly desired.
Look at the famous portrait of King Henry VIII in 1540, which exemplifies the idealized male of his era. He is about as broad as he is tall!! Having higher body fat was seen as a mark of high status – because you clearly had access to resources and were therefore a long way from being on the brink of starvation. Starvation was a very real thing in ancient times and so being too thin was considered to have lower survival and replication value. However now that food is generally available to all in first world countries, it is interesting to note how being overweight is now almost universally considered unattractive. Obesity is now more of a health risk than being skinny – high body fat is well known to lead to a shorter lifespan – so this is not just a vanity issue, it’s a very serious health concern also. Fat is a killer. Here’s a really great tutorial on losing the body fat and getting an attractive, lean physique.
Change your physique and you will notice the difference in how women respond to you. If you make great progress, don’t be surprised if women who were previously nice to you seem to become more disdainful. They may now be perceiving you as out of their league.
Peacocking
Now we are into the fun stuff… Looks can also be used to display status.
This is an important biological principle that applies in the animal as well as human realm and its observation has led to the pickup artists’ strategy of peacocking.
This word came about because the male peacock competes with other males by attempting to display the brightest, biggest and most opulent plumage to the female, with the winner being the one to mate with her. A person who “peacocks” is thus one who displays large, bright or otherwise deliberately noticeable clothing, hair and/or accessories in order to signal high SMV.
The grand, iridescent, erect display of the peacock indicates good genetics, vitality and access to resources. It also indicates “alpha status” as there is no fear of being noticed. That monumental, gaudy and even somewhat ridiculous plumage is awkward to carry around; it certainly does not make him able to fight better or run faster! Yet interestingly, this has the “inverse psychological” effect of making him appear massively confident, even fearless. He is able to risk such an extravagant display and get away with it without being attacked by other males or predators; he is a winner!
Most men are afraid to be noticed, to stand out, typically due to the fear of negative attention and “social shaming” from both other males and females. So they “dress down” and make a great effort to look normal in order to blend in and not be singled out for attention. This has the effect on women of making the male appear lacking in confidence; whereas a man who creates a more striking look is immediately seen as more confident and therefore more attractive. We may look at rock stars, pimps and impresarios, with their garish, gaudy, over the top dress sense and think “what a showboat!” – but there is no doubt that it works. It overrides our rational sense and connects with our innate, primal instincts – which are of course the ones we want to tap into in order to spike female attraction.
Peacocking conveys that you do not give a shit about attracting attention, which signals alpha status.
Here are some textbook examples of men who have taken peacocking to extremes – with great success:
The “Sun King” Louis XIV of France, alternative models Perish Dignam and Valentin Winter, rock stars such as David Bowie, Robert Smith of “The Cure”, Bill Kaulitz of the band Tokyo Hotel, Movie Star Johnny Depp as Don Juan, old school pimps such as Bishop Don “Magic” Juan and Pimp Snooky (love ’em or hate ’em… but they are peacocking in a big way!)
With peacocking, nothing succeeds like excess… Now of course, you don’t have to take it as far as these men, but you cannot deny the reality that it causes them to stand out in a big way.
It’s interesting to observe that none of the above men are “tough guys”. They are all super fly looking motherfuckers – but several of the examples given are quite effeminate; with painted nails, makeup and so on – yet women are delirious over them: The examples I chose all have or had large numbers of female fans, or lovers, and / or even their own harem.
Take notes – and don’t be afraid to be noticed. A good “rule of thumb” to get started with this is that it’s good to have one “show piece” item of attire – whether it is a hat, boots, hair, jacket or piece of jewelry. Other items then play a “supporting role”. Wearing at least one “interesting” item is also beneficial in that it gives a woman who wants to open you an “easy” conversation starter – they can say “I like your ______”. This is then the perfect opportunity for you to tell a DHV story.
To take peacocking further, add more showpieces. The bold, striking looks created by the men listed above combine multiple show pieces to great effect.
Hair
Aside from being the human equivalent of plumage, which indicates vitality, the shape of the hair greatly affects the perceived shape and size of the head. A good haircut in the modern style will bump up a man’s attractiveness by at least one point and will make you feel sharp as well. Modern masculine styles typically increase the perceived “squareness” of the face, accentuating the jawline as if continuing its vertical line as high as possible, and creating the look of a broad, flat hairline and forehead. Dye covering grey hair will generally make a man look younger. As for balding, this is too in depth a topic to cover here – but do what you can. Modern hair transplant techniques seem to have made great strides in recent times. If possible, find pictures of male models that have hairstyles that you like and think would look good on you; this will help a hairdresser create the look you want.
Posture And Body Language
More important than most people realize. Good posture IMMEDIATELY raises your attractiveness by at least one point, possibly more. This is something that you can start fixing right now and it absolutely works! The importance of this cannot be overstated.
How a man carries himself is critical to how he is perceived. Is he cowering, shoulders forward, chin lowered, eyes downcast, as if defeated by life? Or does he stride confidently, shoulders back, chest proud, chin up, eyes level, smiling like the sun as if to say “Behold me! I am a God – and today we celebrate life!” Just this shift alone can get you laid, I promise you.
So add a bit of swagger in order to communicate that you are a man who thinks highly of himself. Remember the pedestal that I mentioned in the introduction? Get back on there! You are important, dammit – so stand like it! When you sit, lean back as though you are King of all you survey (because you are!) Don’t be afraid to take up space and to “own the space around you”. Remember that you are a magnificent child of the stars. A Son of God, if you will. You ARE the Winning Sperm (that already makes you a one-in-fifty-million winner before you were even born!) See yourself as a King and the other men around you as Kings also.
Adopting a confident psychology such as the above will immediately help your posture. There are however very many other details, and body language is absolutely huge when it comes to the topic of attraction. We need a full tutorial on this so look out for that one.
Beyond momentary posture there is your long term posture – and it is important to note that your body adapts its shape to what you habitually do. One of the great postural problems of the modern era is that people spend the majority of their lives sitting in chairs – which causes terrible postural problems, leading over time to anterior pelvic tilt and a very unattractive spinal curvature that makes you appear fatter and less confident than you actually are! If you have a sedentary lifestyle you will absolutely need to take breaks, consider a standing desk and take action to counteract this habitual posture. Another terrible habit is staring down at a mobile phone, which leads to text neck – an unsightly forward droop of the neck which can also lead to significant neck problems over time in addition to looking terrible. I am not qualified to give medical advice but there are tutorials on how to fix these – all over Youtube.
Clothes
As the saying goes, the clothes make the man. A man should pay attention to his wardrobe; gradually acquiring a collection of clothes that make him look great, and having them tailored when necessary so that they fit well. You will find that the more clothes you acquire, the more ‘combinations’ you are able to create that look cool. You want ideally to have several great looks so that you always have something cool to wear and can ‘keep it fresh’ – not always being seen wearing the same jacket etc.
Be aware of the various “handsome guy stereotypes” that are common in our culture. Many women have already “decided” that they want a certain type of guy – for example goth girls will probably want a hot goth guy boyfriend. However it is generally advisable not to make yourself too “niche” because by doing so you would be limiting your options.
Make an effort to take care of your clothes. Find a good seamstress / tailor and have them make any adjustments or repairs needed – or make them yourself if you have the skill of course! See your wardrobe as an investment that should last a lifetime. If you find something that you really, really like – buy two or more, because the same styles will not be around in a few years time and then once it’s worn out, it’s gone.
In general a slimmer fit will show off your physique better. Women often complain about men who wear big, sloppy t-shirts and pants that do nothing at all for their figure. She wants to see what you’ve got! 😉 Consider also tailor-made shirts and, if you can afford it, a tailored suit – as well-cut, properly fitted clothes will add another point – or more – to your attractiveness!
Another wardrobe tip is that clothes can get stale if left in drawers or a wardrobe for a long time. Some good tips here: 1) an open packet of baking soda left in the corner acts as an odor remover. 2) Collect up all the silica gel packets that get left over from vitamins and other product packaging and keep them in your wardrobe or clothes drawers as they act as dehumidifiers, reducing mustiness. 3) An open bag of cedarwood chips; cedarwood is a moth repellent and also gives a lovely fragrance that is considered one of the masculine fragrances. It will only give a hint to your clothes but it’s a good hint…
Grooming
You should smell damn good, and you should not have bad breath, bits of food stuck in your teeth, hairs sticking out of your nose and so on. These ‘universal basics’ are the same for all, yet there are different ‘levels’ of grooming expected in different social and economic circles. Fashions regarding body and facial hair seem to change every decade so you are probably best advised to keep up with the times. Get your teeth straightened, cleaned, whitened. Pluck those sticking out nasal hairs. This is another topic that could get lengthy but there’s no need to reinvent the wheel so just go to Youtube and look for “male grooming tips”!
Final Note
The above are the most important points of looking good. Hard work is the key to success in life – so get to work and notice the attention you receive going up! And do note that as a man, time is not on your side. You have a limited time to get it together and celebrate your brief moment as a King in the best way you can – by being fully alive.
Be aware also that for a man looks are not everything. Looks are very important, but there are many examples of men who were very successful with women for reasons other than their looks. You can still get the girl if you have great game – but looks help more than most men realize and most men simply don’t do enough to help themselves in this area; thus giving those who do a big advantage. See our tutorial How To Raise Your SMV for a full breakdown of the various attraction triggers (of which looks are one) and a deeper understanding of their interplay with each other.
