by NOTE – while the information in this post can certainly help you get laid more often and more easily, I don’t think you should be a player. Learning the game, being skilled in male-female interactions and creating mutually enjoyable experiences is a good thing. Using that knowledge in a manipulative, callous way, isn’t.
The reason why players drive women so crazy and stir up so much hate, is that they have both mastered seduction and also give zero fucks. They can press all her buttons, but after getting what they want, don’t develop any sort of bond with the woman and move on coldly to the next one. He comes in with all the hope, promises and charm they dream of, sweeps her off her feet, then turns it all off *click* without a care and leaves her on read.
She actually wants a man who knows how to seduce her and take her on a magic carpet ride. But as Bob Marley said: “The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman’s love with no intention of loving her.”
Become a Masterful Lover, not a player…
This post is a detailed rundown of the “methodology” of one of my “player friends”. This information is rare, and most people have no idea about this stuff.
This friend claims a lay count “well over 1,000” – and while I know it “sounds like bullshit”… I actually totally believe him: I hung out with this friend on a regular basis over the course of about 15 years and I watched his game consistently throughout that time. We were good pals and had a lot of adventures together. During that time, he never once mentioned how many women he had slept with.
He’s a now in his 60’s and considers himself “retired from the game” – and as he announced this retirement to me, he told me the true, secret story of the life he had led. I was shocked – I knew he had done fairly well with the ladies but I didn’t know it was that extreme.
Since then, I have had time to reflect on what I had observed through the last 15 years, and piece it all together.
This guy, despite being to all intents and purposes a “regular dude”, was bedding women left, right and center – under the radar – and racked up the kind of “score” that most people think is only achieved by rock stars, elite athletes, nightclub owners and royalty of bygone eras. He claimed over 100 lays in one year in his younger days – and I believe that too! He had no reason whatsoever to lie, is not trying to impress anyone and in fact kept this information concealed from almost everybody – as it might have damaged his social reputation significantly to have this info out there. Only a very few people in the world (I am guessing about 3 in total) know the actual truth – and I happen to be one of them. And I’m sure I am the only one who “decoded” what was actually going on.
So you are probably assuming he was ridiculously good looking, or wealthy, or tall, or had a massive cock, or was a porn star, or whatever it is that most people think you would need to be and do in order to be incredibly successful with women…
And you would be absolutely dead wrong!
What’s interesting about this dude is that he was NOT spectacularly good looking, or in any way affluent. He also did not dress up super sharp. He was not super intelligent. He had no social media following at all. He was not famous, or an elite athlete, or at the top of his field in anything, really. He was not six foot tall. He was not super ripped. He wasn’t super anything!
He also never studied pickup under some super-guru. I don’t think he ever spent a dollar on a “dating advice product”….
What???
I know, right?! How the hell can all of the above be true?
It flies in the face of everything you ever read or heard about “Men who get laid like rockstars”! People all over the internet are telling you (as if they fucking know!) that in the 21st century you need to be an “alpha chad” sports champion, movie star, famous singer or male model, otherwise your genes are basically confined to the dustbin of history. Well…. they are all dead wrong, friends.
So I had much time to analyze the game of my friend and break down what he was doing, because over the years we probably went to upwards of 200 parties, shows or events together (I’ve lost count to be honest) and hung out on many other occasions too. He never explained this to me or “taught me”. This was all learned by observation. I pieced together – purely by recall and reflection – that my friend in fact had a highly consistent “pulling method”. Nothing particularly elaborate or advanced. But it was methodical, efficient and effective. Here are the fundamentals of what he did, together with my insights:
The Pulling Method That Got 1,000+ Lays
1) He stayed in great shape. Not in any sort of “Oh wow look at him, is he on the cover of Men’s Health?” sort of way. But he looked after himself. He went to the gym on a regular basis (2 to 3x per week I think), went running weekly and generally took great care of his health, eating healthy organic food, doing outdoor work and so on.
This was absolutely consistent throughout the years I knew him. He was fit and looked a few years younger than his real age. He had also studied dance at college and although he didn’t really show off on the dance floor very often, he did have a bit of that ‘dancer physique’. I think this was definitely an asset. He was decent looking, but he didn’t have a “model face”, or an amazing jawline, ripped abs or massive biceps, or anything that isn’t within reach of the majority of us. He had fairly good arms and shoulders but not spectacular, and not a visible 6-pack. At a guess I would say his height was 5’10”. He also definitely had an average size dick. (I accidentally saw it once and wish I hadn’t. Can’t unsee, as they say). But anyway – overall he was more concerned with health and fitness than with aesthetics in the abstract sense. He often used to say “health is wealth” and I think this was very beneficial; he carried a vitality that was higher than his years, looking younger than his actual age.
2) He didn’t dress super stylish or wear expensive designer threads but did choose clothes that were “fitted” – tighter fit, nothing baggy and had a decent “cut” that gives a bit of a lift to the physique. Nothing really fancy though. No tattoos or ostentatious jewelry. No expensive haircut. No sports car.
3) He APPROACHED like crazy – in real life – and never bothered with online dating AT ALL. I don’t think he even had an Instagram. But he approached women at EVERY opportunity. And I mean every opportunity. He CREATED opportunity out of thin air. Seriously. We would be driving along and if he spotted a woman he was attracted to on the opposite sidewalk, he would literally loop around, park the truck, get out, walk up and open her. If he saw a beautiful woman, he instantly went for it. No hesitation whatsoever. He would go up to them and just say hi and be really friendly, in a very upbeat positive good mood, chat for 1 minute, ask a few questions and then GIVE THEM HIS CARD and tell them to get in touch if they wanted to go for a drink. (This phraseology was, I believe quite important. “Go for a drink” conveys that he had amorous intentions, without being sleazy about it.) And then he would move on, never lingering too long.
NOTE: He never, ever asked them for their number. He gave his catch card. This I now see as one of the absolute essential factors in how he did so well. Giving a card means someone can take it without awkwardness.. and then just not call if they are not interested – whereas asking for a number puts pressure on the person because if they are not into you, they know they are going to have to deal with you at some point. Giving a card makes the lady feel safer.
He was always polite, friendly, smiling and sort of lightly flirtatious. Nothing heavy. But he did this very consistently, for years. He would approach in the supermarket, on the sidewalk, in cafes… anywhere and everywhere.
So it was literally meat-and-potatoes “numbers game”. He would do several approaches per day, every single day of every single year. When we were going to big events and stuff, it might be at least 20 in an evening. At “all dayer” events and festivals it would be non stop for the whole day / weekend / whatever. So in total he was making literally thousands of approaches per year for 40 years. We went out a lot. If we were at a party he would introduce himself to all the women and chat and flirt. I watched him “do the rounds”. And then later, sure enough, I would go out back and there he would be with some woman, fooling around in the back of his car. Out in public he would do a quick intro and give his card, but at events, if there was chemistry he would start to move it forward there and then, and might offer a hand massage or something similar, which would escalate things if there was something there to escalate. And if not… next…
Her gave out so many cards that when he got a text “Hey, it’s Lisa” he would often have no idea at all who it was. He didn’t say “I can’t remember who you are” and he didn’t say “Sorry I know 200 Lisas”. He acted like he remembered, sent them a pic and said he would love to see one. The pic reminded him who she was and also helped him decide whether he wanted to pursue things.
I watched him do super bold, ballsy approaches on occasions. Example – woman sitting with 3 men at a 4 seat table in a busy cafe. Lunchtime. Who would even bother?? My friend would, that’s who. He said “watch this”, went up to the table and literally said to her, “I am sure I recognize you” or some BS. She said “no, I don’t think so”. He said “ok, well if you suddenly remember, here is my card, give me a call some time.” And then walked off! Job done!!! 😀 Now there is a 99% chance she just tossed the card but if you do this type of stuff 1000 times, there are going to be some women who call you up because they were attracted to you. And women do tend to like a man who goes for what he wants. He actually upstaged all the men there by displaying his absolute fearlessness. Any one of them might have picked a fight with him or told him to fuck off – and the fact that he didn’t care gave him some status. You can see that in this situation he turned a 0% chance into a 1% chance. Do this enough times and you will have created all kinds of opportunities from situations that most people pass by!
At the time I witnessed this event, I didn’t really get it. I thought “Well that was stupid and honestly kind of embarrassing.” Now, in retrospect, it all makes sense.
4) He did not have super smooth talk. In fact a lot of his talk I thought was a bit cringe. He didn’t have incredible “pickup chat”. It was all a bit ham. It didn’t matter!
5) He was fearless. He had ZERO fear of approaching and ZERO fear of getting rejected / told to get lost. He assumed that 80%+ wouldn’t be interested and he was UTTERLY unfazed. It was water off a duck’s back and it just rolled off him if a woman showed disinterest. He never took it in the least bit personally, he just moved right on to the next woman! This I believe is a real key honestly. Most people talk themselves out of putting their bid in and subconsciously self-sabotage through fear of rejection. But you gotta play in order to win!
He very rarely got ‘hard rejected’ when approaching because he wasn’t a massive dick about it. He kept it fun and light and if the vibe wasn’t good he would quickly cut his losses and eject. Overall he was just friendly and flirty, chatted up a LOT of women and moved every situation forward if it was possible to do so. I also never heard of some other jealous dude throwing a punch at him. People in general tend to assume that approaching is way more risky than it really is.
6) He was not trying to be James Bond. He didn’t care about having gravitas, or being super slick, or trying to impress the fuck out of anyone – male or female. He didn’t have some giant ego or have the need to always appear cool as ice. He often made a bit of a fool of himself; didn’t give a flying fuck. There’s more than one way to the top of this mountain. To emphasize the point that he was never boastful about his “achievement” – I knew him for well over 15 years before he even mentioned “the numbers”. I knew he was always “on the pull” but I literally had no idea of his scores before that. He absolutely NEVER carried around an attitude of “Look at me, I bang more women than you”. He was a stealth operator. Flew under the radar and kept his private life private – for wise reasons.
7) He was NEVER pushy if there was resistance or a negative reaction. If he got negative signals he would just instantly fall back and move on. Total abundance mindset and he never tried to pressure women to have sex with him in any way. He knew there were tons more women and knew he could put his bid in, so if one wasn’t picking up what he was putting down, he didn’t waste any time because another one would. He NEVER got “one-itis” – that fixation on one woman that so many men get.
8) He wasn’t as picky as the rest of us. I was always SUPER picky and wanted only the 9’s and 10’s. Partly as a result of this, despite being taller and having a higher social status, I didn’t score anything like as many wins as my friend. He was happy with everything that was a 5+ and we teased the fuck out of him for this. It didn’t bother him in the slightest. But sometimes he did get 9’s and 10’s too. He chose what he wanted and never wanted “trophies”. If he was attracted to her, that was good enough for him and he didn’t care in the least if anyone else approved of his choices or not.
9) He seemed to be always horny. He was totally preoccupied with bedding women and with the “beautiful strange”. It was a compulsion. He clearly had a high sex drive. But he didn’t just stay home watching porn. I don’t know for sure, but I have a strong feeling that he might have never watched porn at all. He also never seemed to feel sorry for himself. He was overall positive, took action and enjoyed the fuck out of his life.
10) I have no idea at all whether he was highly skilled at sex. I couldn’t possibly tell you how many of the women he bedded ‘came back for more’. Some seemed to, some seemed not to. I think he was good at massage and sensual touch: One of his gambits was to offer a massage as a way to warm things up.
11) I don’t condone what he did. I don’t advise being a player. But there is certainly a lot that can be learned from a player’s game and his overall approach to life. Most guys would prefer to have a “good girlfriend” than endless one night stands, and I think this is healthier. But we’d all like to be more successful in winning the woman we desire and seduction skills can help with this! In truth I think my friend had issues with holding down a relationship. Players typically have a barrier to intimacy and a certain coldness to them. Women hate it. When they find out the man is a player, they are usually done. Nobody likes to be treated like they aren’t special.
12) A further critique of players is that life is short, and there are other things to do. I rather think that my friend’s compulsions had a hold over him that was to the detriment of his ambitions and success in other areas of his life. He had a lot of fun, but in another sense he coasted and never achieved anything particularly noteworthy. I don’t think he gives a fuck.
There you go. That is literally about everything I can think of. A smooth operator who got laid like a rockstar, completely under the radar.
In summary – the biggest difference between what my friend did and what most men don’t do is simply that he had the balls to go for it. If he was attracted, he always approached – and rather than asking numbers he gave them his. This also helps with confidence because giving a number is easy and a lower pressure interaction all round. I never, EVER saw him get “approach freeze”. He always carried a fun vibe around with him. And he consistently took action. Every. Single. Time. And most men don’t. They don’t take action. They don’t have the balls to go for it. And so they literally watch beautiful women walk past… and out of their life forever… every day.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take….
