by This is seen as one of those “danger zone” questions that many older guys dread. So let’s flip that around.
The first thing to remember is that questions are good. If you are getting questions, it is generally a sign that she likes you and wants to receive more of your energy. She wants to feel the sun’s warm rays and she wants to open her petals.
So if you are faced with any sort of question (especially one that might lead to an extended answer), remember that it’s actually quite likely that she just wants to hear your voice!
Questions are a wonderful opportunity to deepen the connection between you and so you should never treat them as confrontational. Even if they are, slightly. Girls like to push on a guy a bit, or even quite a lot, to see if he is solid. Strong emotions, as opposed to ‘flatliner’ behavior, are generally good. She feels something. If she’s giving you a lot of attention, even if the “surface temperature” of that attention is not what you would most like it to be – she probably likes you.
If she is really shit testing you hard, it might not actually be bad. It might in fact mean that she really, really likes you. If she’s “giving you shit” but sticking around – she probably likes you. If she starts making excuses as to why she has to go, she probably doesn’t. So learn to recognize her emotional intensity and enjoy the shit out of it, and differentiate it from “No this person is actually being an asshole” at which point you don’t want to waste any more time on them and can bid them a polite goodbye.
Most of the time however, a shit test or a challenging question is a sign that she actually is curious about you and wants to feel more of your masculine energy. Sometimes, women do actually want to be put in their place – but it has to be in the right way. You have to actually like her and you have to “be the oak tree”.
The next thing to remember is that a question like “how old are you” is only really slightly about the question, and predominantly about the way you handle it.
It doesn’t actually matter how old you are. It really doesn’t. But you being insecure about it and being concerned about being “good enough” for her actually matters. So the first thing is to get over your insecurity about it and ditch any fears that being older might make you not good enough. The real question, however, is this: Are you good enough for YOU?
Looked at from another angle, older is better. You have more life experience, more sexual skills, know more jokes, have more stories, have been to more cool places… How many more reasons can you think of why being older is better? Make a list and start believing it. You really are better now, not worse.
The main issues with age, honestly, are health, which extends into sexual health, cognitive decline and the potential for becoming embittered. That which ceases to grow, begins to die. But that is in your hands: There is much you can do to take control of those things and you should be doing it.
The hardest part of conquering age insecurity, honestly, is regret for the past: If you are older and you feel regret for things you didn’t do when you were younger, and your life is currently not what you want it to be – then you have to own that. This is a tough one, because her question can spotlight those deep emotions; but truthfully the best approach is to work really hard on yourself, so that you are proud of who you are and where you are at in life. That’s really the ultimate frame, from which none of her questions could possibly trigger insecurity because you simply don’t have any.
If you are truly on course, the best really is yet to come. Meditate on that!
And if you don’t love your life, you gotta address that asap and get ON IT and make it great. Then go out and date.
Actually being awesome (aka creating a life for yourself that you genuinely love) puts you in a place where you can pretty much say whatever you want and it will go down well because you are just in the flow of your cool life. The energy behind your words is the part that matters, and it’s really fun to say stuff theatrically that is the opposite of what you mean, in order to highlight the energy even more.
When you are in this kind of flow, she can also fire all kinds of banter at you too – and she loves a guy that she can be sassy and teasing with. Maybe you will even put her over your knee and spank her!
Questions are a wonderfully opportunity to go into whatever storytelling frame you want. Why even deal with her question on her terms? When she asks your age, or any other question that isn’t really on the vibe, you could “reclaim the frame” by launching into telling her something else! Maybe something that happened years ago… a cool story. Describe the scene. The music. Pulsating in that deep way that makes you feel wild. The awesomeness of the way the light caught the skin of the dancers.
She might playfully hit you [good sign] and say “Steve!” [using your name is a good sign]. Tell me how old you are!”
At this point you could say “You wanna know how old I am…?” [pretending to be actually taking her seriously now] then move in and kiss her softly, seductively and briefly on the lips. Then look her in the eyes and say softly “That’s how old I am”.
She will fucking love it.
That’s precisely how few rules there are in this game. Everything is an opportunity to display frame, energy, congruence and just having super fun in the moment.
There is a time, of course, when serious questions deserve serious answers. But this isn’t really that. Ask yourself in your mind “Is this actually a serious question that needs a serious answer? Or is it an opportunity for fun?
It’s almost always an opportunity for fun!
You could even ask her playfully to her face “Wait, so is this a serious question that needs a serious answer? Ok. I will give you a serious answer.” and then kiss her! 😀
Women tend to have a “shopping list” in their heads with their criteria for what their man has to be. The thing to remember is that those rules are absolutely not arbitrary – and possibly a little daft. For example, she will say “I’m a sapiosexual” – but look at the guys she actually dates to see that these “criteria” are just some stuff she tells herself.
She will say “he has to be between 34 and 39” but no, it is an absolute fact that he really doesn’t have to be that, to make her orgasm wildly.
FFS. Does she look at her sex toy and think “it has to be between 2 and 4 months old”? Of course not! 🙂
Your actual age becomes completely irrelevant if the energy and chemistry between you is fire. If you make her feel wonderful. That is what matters and it’s about your ENERGY, not about your height, bank balance, age, shoe size or any other “numerical nonsense”.
Age is actually ridiculous. Every particle in your body has been around since The Big Bang (apparently). Technically, both you and her are made of stardust that is 13 billion years old. If you want to get even deeper, time doesn’t even exist. It’s just a mental construct.
You can be the guy who breaks the mould. The “I didn’t think I was going to be into this, but OMG” guy. She will revise her own rules as it suits her anyway. Bear in mind also that she has had an endless barrage of influence from her mother, social circle etc in her ear telling her what she “ought to want”. You can bypass all of that and be the exciting lover who makes her see everything differently and shows her a greater, more open minded, more pleasurable, more spontaneous and more abundant reality.
And she will love you for it.
ROUTINE STACK
Here are some 16 awesome routines / flows / comebacks to choose from and memorize. Practice using pauses for effect in the right places. Add new ones you think of – and most of all, practice loosening up and getting into the flow of your spontaneous energy, so that you can wing it and come up with amazing new stuff on the fly.
“How old are you?”
“Too old to be your boyfriend, but young enough to be your husband.”
“How old are you?”
“27. Give or take a few.”
“What, years, or decades?”
“Centuries. I am actually your ghost lover from a previous life. Don’t you remember?”
“No.”
“I’m sorry about beheading you that time. In 1642. But you got me back real good in 1750 with that red hot poker. Kiss and make up?”
“How old are you?”
“27. [pause] In dog years.” [which would make you 7×27=189, so it’s good for a laugh when she fully realizes you are bullshitting.]
“How old are you?”
“I’m your exciting new lover who shows you a greater, more open minded, more pleasurable, more spontaneous and more abundant reality. Sorry, what was the question again?”
“How old are you?”
Old enough to be your daddy. Wait. Actually no. I’m old enough to be your grandaddy. [then, a little quieter, fake-seriously:] Is that your thing?
“How old are you?”
A few years ago, I was in Australia. I was walking along Bondi Beach, and… [Just start telling a story. Any story! She won’t realize until half way through the story that she has been swindled, and it’s pretty funny. See how long you can keep this game going for.]
“How old are you?”
“Old enough to know not to answer that question” [with a wink, then change the subject]
“How old are you?”
“I realize that you are younger than me, but I don’t mind.” [this one is a beaut. It really flips the frame into you qualifying her and letting her know that you are the one doing the choosing and approving, not her. Practice the delivery until you are totally happy with the inflection, because the tonality of the way you say it makes a big difference.]
“How old are you?”
“Well when I was younger… I used to fight T-Rex’s and then I would ride triceratops from one end of town to the other.”
“How old are you?”
“Ok first, what’s your target age range?”
Her: whatever
“Ok. And what’s the target age range of your sex toys? No, seriously.” [said completely unseriously, try not to piss yourself laughing..]
Her: whatever
“Well I am way older than that. But….. [pause]…. my tongue has a brand new battery. I just put it in. Here [offer your hand]. Give me your hand. It’s Duracell.” [flicker your tongue against her hand (between the fingers is ideal) like its some kind of lil pleasure machine. Then push her away and say “ok that’s all you get”]
How old are you?”
“Young enough to give you a coalman’s lift.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s like a fireman’s lift. Only dirtier.”
“What’s a fireman’s lift?”
“It’s when you’re trapped in a burning building… and I break down the door, put you over my shoulder and carry you off.”
[if she likes you.. at this point she might even say “show me” at which point you can pick her up, carry her a few yards and then blow on her face like you are putting out candles and say “your hair was on fire, its ok now.” If the signs are right, kiss her.
“You’re too old for me”
“Nah… I am definitely not too old for you” [with a raised eyebrow and a smirk (or shit eating grin) that playfully lets her know you are fully capable of leaving her in a quivering post-orgasmic mess.]
Then if she comes back again and says “No. You are definitely too old for me”.
Just repeat it with an even bigger smirk. “Nah… I am definitely not too old for you”.
“You’re too old for me”
“You’re right, we should keep this a secret”. [this is excellent because not only does it imply that its about to happen, but it plays into her fantasy (that she probably has if she is even chatting with you) of having a secret silver fox lover.
“You’re too old for me”
“You’re right. I’m way too old.. and way too dirty. We definitely shouldn’t be doing this. So [whispers sexily] we better keep it a secret. Promise?”
“You’re too old for me”
“Yes and I am too skilled in bed for you too.”
[this is a deadly A&A (agree and amplify) response that flips around her perception of “older = worse” and reveals to her that she might in fact have it allll wrong. Use in combination with fiery eye contact.]
