by Note – if you haven’t read the post Decoding SMV please check that one out as it is a prerunner to this one.
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Much has been written about the various aspects of the game, however there appears to be one topic about which none can agree: On what a man should best focus his efforts in order to improve his SMV (sexual marketplace value) and increase his odds of getting the girl he wants?
Some say that game is everything and that looks don’t matter. Some say that looks are everything and game doesn’t matter. Some say that if you have enough money, nothing else matters. And others say that your perceived status / power is the fundamental driver of attraction.
They can’t all be right.
The fact of the matter is that any of these qualities, if strong enough, can be enough to pull the girl; and the more you have, the better:
Game: RSD Owen’s infield videos of his crazy, daring pickups as a self-confessed “short balding ginger”, prove the value of game and that pure charisma can be enough.
Status: Here’s footage (great documentary by the way) of female fans going crazy over Sting of the band The Police as the band’s star was on the rise. It’s an intense, potentially even dangerous moment – he’s literally just attempting to leave the building after a show in town. Listen to the screaming when he appears in the doorway! Note that he didn’t do anything whatsoever to game them; it’s his talent, rock star status and looks that win all this adulation. Note also that he is not at all confident in this moment and even admits that it is scary. Note also the “alpha female” (top right of the open doorway) who is calling his name seductively, imploringly – and really giving it her absolutely best shot to get him. She has climbed up above the others and positioned herself for best possible proximity effect.
Looks: Now here’s a male model – Inkstaboy – with thousands of female fans swooning over his looks. Just scroll through the comments. This is pure aesthetics; nothing to do with any verbal charm, money or game whatsoever. He’s a good looking lad but importantly he really knows how to make the best of himself visually. A textbook example of how good aesthetics and social proof create a “halo effect”.
Money: We all know that money can buy people’s time, attention… and sexual favors. However money can also be used, of course, to fix yourself up and to arrange your life in such a manner that you naturally meet more women and remove other obstacles from your social and dating life. It also makes biological sense that a woman will have an interest in a man who has the ability to raise offspring – however this could also potentially turn out less well for the money guy (“Alpha fucks, beta bucks”).
It’s Like A Game Of Cards
In order to grasp this topic and make it simple, the analogy I have created is that of the stylish, elegant card game Bridge. The cards are dealt and each hand will have strengths and weaknesses in the various “suits” – diamonds, clubs, hearts, spades – which represent the four main attributes of desirability – game, status, wealth and looks:
The game of cards analogy is actually very appropriate, because the card “suits” originally derived from tarot cards, which were symbolic of human character archetypes. Thus diamonds = wealth, clubs = status/power, hearts = charisma/game/talent, spades = looks/aesthetics. (Note how the spade shape looks like a hand mirror from the old days? Perhaps just a coincidence… perhaps not.)
The important key to grasp is that in the card game, you can win with strong cards in any suit. You bid to your innate strengths in order to determine which suit becomes “trumps”, however any and all strong cards, whichever suit they are in, are advantageous. The beauty of the game of bridge, is that strategy is the greatest part of the game in the long run, in particular learning to make the best of what you were dealt.
You should note also that, just as with bridge, a player (double meaning intentional) can use extreme strengths in one suit to overcome shortcomings in another: Thus RSD Owen’s incredible game overcomes his below-average looks, while astonishing good looks can make up for extreme shortcomings in terms of charisma. (note, the video at the link is shocking and eye opening!)
Men are in essence simple creatures. They don’t like to be confused. They like a simple set of rules and a goal, so that they can take action. Tell a man exactly what he needs to do in order to get what he desires and he will attack it with vigour and confident, joyful self-assurance. However if the man is confused, not knowing which is his best foot forward, he runs into problems and even depression. Most of men’s problems in the game spring from bad advice, no advice and from prioritizing the wrong things.
You can now see the classic ‘mistake’ that gets made. People see one person with great game crushing it and they jump to incorrect conclusions like “it’s all game, looks don’t matter”. Whereas if you take a step back and use the “bridge” analogy, you have a much clearer picture: All strong cards are good and you should maximize your hand in every way that you can.
It should be apparent now that despite what various “gurus” are attempting to sell you, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to how you should best improve yourself – and such advice is in fact ill-formed at best and ludicrous at worst. Work on yourself in all areas, but understand, maximize and play to your strengths while improving your weaknesses in order to increase your overall SMV, which is a combination of all the aspects I have delineated.
I do however think it very important that some aspects should in general be given higher priority than others, and I would strongly advise to put them in correct priority order. You will need to use your instincts here to make an honest assessment of what you need to work on most. You have finite resources of time and effort, thus you must allocate them judiciously in order to make the best of yourself. It could be argued that men who are “naturally successful” with women have simply allocated their resources well and worked hard on these aspects of themselves.
1) Looks:
Always critical and often underestimated. Do not ignore this! Every man should do what he can in order to improve his visual appeal – including both his bodily aesthetics and his wardrobe. No matter where you find yourself now, you should be able to raise your looks by 1 or 2 points, or quite possibly, by several more. Looks are typically underrated in importance and almost all men are not making enough effort in this regard.
It’s interesting that it is somewhat frowned upon for a man to put a lot of effort into his look. Don’t be fazed by it. You have every right to look as amazing as you want. Women do it all day long, and so do rock stars, models, pimps and playboys – to tremendous effect.
It’s quite amazing how chickens will try to peck each other down to size. Don’t let them do it.
Check out my full tutorial on LooksMaxing – How To Be The Hot Guy That Women Notice.
2) Game:
If you can study one game tutorial alone it is generally advised to study The Mystery Method – as its decoding of the game is built on very solid foundations which hold true even today. Game includes numerous factors from logistics through to body language, approaching, demonstrating value, voice tone, kino escalation and more.
3) Status / Social Proof:
Status as far as male-female sexual dynamics are concerned can be simplified into two factors: Tribal leader (admired by men) and Preselection (already desired by other women) aka “Men want to be you, women want to be with you”.
Improving your status among men is is generally improved best by rising to the top in your chosen field of endeavor. Social dominance also plays a part. Eminence, talent and skills in your craft or occupation lead to high status. It’s also vital to understand your own strengths and to play to them in order to shine.
Improving your preselection includes various strategies to improve your perception by women as a man who is desired by other women. Textbook examples of men who mastered status game include Peter Stringfellow (appropriately nicknamed the “King of Clubs” and rumored to have slept with 3,000 women), Hugh Hefner of course – and probably the best tutorial on this topic comes from Adam Lyons, who mastered social proof and what he called “entourage game”. Last but not least we have of course Dan Bilzerian, who truly mastered status game and even goes so far as to say that it’s the strongest suit of them all. I don’t necessarily agree with him and I know someone who has 1,000+ lays who has no status game whatsoever. Definitely check out Dan Bilzerian’s book The Setup if you haven’t already, it is eye opening!
It is valuable to increase the size of your social circle. Note however that you should be selective. Include people in your social circle who talk you up but exclude people who talk you down or pour salt on your game in any way. You cannot permit people to diminish your status in this way and you should be very wary, because people will do it; sometimes even blatantly / in front of your face.
4) Money:
Approach with caution! Money is very commonly overplayed when it comes to attracting women. It is less important than most men think it is – unless you just want to pay for escorts, exotic dancers, sugar babies or whatever – in which case money gives you all the options and the control that you could want. Yes, money can get you as much sex as you could handle, but just remember, if you do, that it’s going to be the money they love, not you. “Can’t buy me love” might be an old song, but it is still true.
However – and it is a big however – money can create opportunities. It can buy you time, it can enable you to place yourself more easily in scenarios where there are are an abundance of beautiful women and it can improve your odds in various other ways. Get your money handled – not so that you can buy affections, but so that your own life is under control and so that obstacles in the way of your leisure interests can be removed. Money can buy a gym membership or a personal trainer who pushes you. Money can be used in order to improve your logistics massively. It should also be utilized to increase your own quality of life and for other forms of self-improvement – but be careful not to try to use it to attract in and of itself, or as some kind of cover for low self esteem or lack of excellence in other areas. You are not your money.
Time Is Short:
One last point – as a man, time is not on your side. You really do have a limited amount of time to get your shit together and achieve whatever it is you are going to achieve in life. Most simply don’t work hard enough.
One thing we can all agree on is that apathy / inaction is the worst possible course you can take. “Just be yourself and the right one will come along” is the most terrible advice imaginable and should be ignored absolutely by all men! The burden of performance is ALWAYS upon a man and men are biologically hardwired to either succeed in replicating or have their genetics “unceremoniously snuffed from existence”. The winning sperm did not “just be himself”. He outswam the entire competition! A man absolutely should give his best possible efforts to making the best of himself. Self improvement is your friend and, although it is decidedly un-PC to say it: Winning Is Everything.
Potential Negative Consequences Of High SMV
It’s important to remember that sexual marketplace value is a great power in the modern world – and that power has consequences. It can cause good or harm – and when someone suddenly has more power than they are used to, they run the risk of destroying either their own life or the lives of other people. I am absolutely serious about this! The more power you have, the more intensely people will want to try to have a piece of you…
When your SMV is extremely high, women will do surprising and even extraordinary things in order to try to get with you.
It’s interesting how the whole “men must make the first move” thing goes COMPLETELY out of the window when male SMV hits a certain critical high point. Witness the behavior of women around rock stars – from throwing their panties at them to literally lunging at them tongue first… I remember one woman (very attractive, too) describing “meeting” Simon Le Bon (handsome lead singer of the famous 80’s band Duran Duran) at the height of his fame and saying proudly “I managed to get my tongue in his mouth before the security pulled me away”. How’s that for making the first move? His perceived SMV was so high that this absurd, almost grotesque “trophy moment” was reminisced about fondly, years later by the woman in question – as he epitomized her biological ideals in terms of survival and replication value. He was her Prince Charming – a man who held all the aces – and a woman will instinctively prefer to have a small piece of Prince Charming than a man of lesser value all to herself.
One more grotesque example: The pianist Franz Liszt (1811-1886) was noted for generating hysteria in female fans. He was one of the first true “rock stars”. He had such high SMV that there were numerous recorded instances where women completely lost control of themselves in public. Fainting in his presence was not unheard of. On one occasion, as he was playing the piano, a silver snuff box fell out of his pocket and bounced off the stage. Two women lunged for it and began brawling, right there in front of everyone. But nothing beats the case of the “cigar butt lady”. So enamored of Liszt was she that she picked up a cigar butt that he had discarded and put this stinking object in a locket that she wore over her chest for the rest of her life.
The higher the perceived SMV of the man, the more bold and forward the female will be – almost without limits. Women will deliberately create proximity to an attractive man (an “indirect game” tactic of placing herself either near the man or directly in his path). And if your presence is sharp enough, women will open you (initiate a conversation) rather than waiting to be opened by you. I’ve even had a woman open me with the line “I want to fuck you now” (true story, I guess I was looking good that night!)
The higher your perceived value, the more aggressively she will compete with other females for your attention. Men do not often see the more competitive stuff go down because women typically have much more highly evolved situational awareness in this regard. Not only will they place themselves front and center, but they will do what they have to do to make sure the other girls don’t get a crack at you. They are adept at “shooting their daggers” at other women when the high-value man is not looking, and then when he IS looking, maintaining their “sugar and spice and all things nice” demeanor! Trust me, it happens! And the higher your SMV, the more absurd and ridiculous all this stuff gets. I’ve had women that I have known for no more than 30 seconds in a nightclub physically grab me by the hand and yank me away to a more private location when they sensed that I might be about to be snatched away by other women. I’ve also caught women signaling visually to other attractive women across a room with a finger drawn back and forth rapidly across the throat “He’s mine and if you even try you are fucking dead”.
The same general principle of people making crazy moves applies of course to very attractive women, who may have to deal with stalkers and other forms of harassment from men who will go to inappropriate, absurd and even criminal lengths in their attempts to mate with her. The higher your perceived SMV (male or female), the more extreme the lengths people will go to in order to try to get to you. So be careful, be situationally aware and of course if you are a real celebrity, billionaire etc, you will need a security team in order to protect you from the mad, the bad, the infatuated and the desperate.
People with super high status, ironically, may need deliberate strategies to lower their SMV in order to get people to leave them alone! A classic example was the band Tokio Hotel who resorted to going out in disguise after ongoing problems with female stalkers.
Another aspect of this is that if you become someone’s heaven, first giving them a taste of SMV paradise and then breaking it off, it can cause them to lose it completely. So respect the game and respect power… don’t abuse it, and watch your back.
